Saturday, October 20, 2007
Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. It's that joyous time of year... the rains and darkness and dreariness have come. I've just felt BLAH for the past month or so. Unmotivated, tired, weepy... not the blackness of deep depression, just the eternal grey of the blahs. It's hard some days to get out of bed or take a shower or do the things I have to do. It's hard sometimes to want to eat or do anything, let alone anything fun or constructive. It's hard to care about life. And I feel so guilty, because it isn't a horrible suicidal depression, just that every day melancholy dysthymia. If I just focused on God, prayed more, had a better attitude, sucked it up, etc. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I'm plugging along. My Thursday morning Bible study is a highlight of the week, and I'm taking a scrapbooking class once a month, and we're doing a Christmas-card-making night at my church on Monday. So it's not like I'm completely isolated or not doing anything good. I'm just mostly blah. Well, I will try to be more faithful in posting, and keeping myself accountable for how I'm feeling. I'm glad I have good friends and a good God... I know I am so blessed.