What, you are wondering, can these two things POSSIBLY have in common? I started a Bible study this morning with two dear friends. It is by a popular Bible study teacher called Beth Moore, and this is actually my third study of hers. She is from Texas, has the big hair and make-up and exuberant personality... none of which I really share, haha! And as I was watching the video this morning with my two friends, (it's an old Bible study, thus it's on a VHS tape, and you can tell by the hair and clothes too!) I found myself thinking of an incident from when I was probably about 12 or 13 years old.
We'd just gotten a VCR and it was a novel and exciting thing to rent a movie. (When did VCRs come out anyway? Needless to say, our family was never up to date with the times... the first and only computer we had for many years was a Commodore 64. And that is why I'm pretty much technologically illiterate.) My dad had gotten "The Boy Who Could Fly" and I was so upset: "I'm not a baby anymore, Dad!" So at my request, he rented "Dirty Dancing"... still a favourite of mine in all its delightful cheesiness. My mom came home from work just as Patrick Swayze was stripping off Jennifer Grey's shirt in his messy apartment... I can still remember the embarassment of my mom watching me watch it... I was squirming in self-consciousness, trying not to look over at my mom, wondering what she was thinking. (It totally ruined my enjoyment of the movie, by the way. Of course, I've made up for it by watching it several times over the years since!)
Funny that that should come to mind this morning, as I'm watching a woman passionately sharing the Word of God with us. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, or because of the kind of churches I've attended, or maybe it's because of the way my family is. We're not demonstrative people. We don't hug and kiss and make a big fuss over things, whether good or bad. It just seems kind of embarassing to show too much emotion, too much enthusiasm, to let it all hang out there. And so as much as I enjoy Beth Moore, she kind of makes me uncomfortable too... she challenges me. I get excited about things like the new "Sex and the City" movie coming out in May, I get excited about new revelations and character development on "Lost" every week, I get excited about anything whatsoever having to do with books. Granted, I pretty much share my excitement only with those closest to me, who I don't feel embarassed to squeal and gush in front of about silly things like that... or here in writing, where my squeals aren't so loud and annoying, haha! But why don't I get that excited about the Word of God? Or why am I embarassed about people who do? The title of the study we're doing is "Breaking Free"... I think it's very appropriate for me! I need to break free from my own inhibitions, from worrying what other people think of me, from my myriad fears that control me and hold me back. Yes, I think God brought this study into my life for a reason, and I'm praying I have the courage and discipline to stick it out, and learn what He wants to teach me... and not be embarassed by it!